by Adam Lee on March 10, 2006

Has anyone else ever noticed that, as far as theists are concerned, atheists just can’t win? Every single thing we do, or don’t do, is interpreted by believers in such a way as to give aid and comfort to their beliefs. Consider:

When theists commit evil or criminal acts, it just goes to show that we’re all sinners and no one’s perfect, and an entire worldview should not be blamed for the actions of a few misguided individuals; but when atheists commit evil or criminal acts, it just goes to show how the entire atheist worldview inevitably leads to evil and immorality.

When atheists debate theists, it’s because we’re obsessed with God even though we claim not to believe in him, but when we don’t debate theists, it’s because we’re afraid of the truth.

When atheists don’t behave morally, it’s because atheism inevitably leads to immoral deeds, but when we do it’s because we’re unknowingly following the law of God written in our hearts.

When theists are happy, it proves that believing in God confers a sense of true inner peace and contentment; but when atheists are happy, it only proves that we’re selfish hedonists.

When an atheist converts to theism, this proves that theism is true; but when a theist converts to atheism, they obviously never really believed in the first place. Also, when a person becomes an atheist, it must be because they are rebelling against something, or because of a secret desire to sin; but a person who converts to theism is always sincere and acting from the best of motives.

If a person had a religious upbringing and is now an atheist, it just goes to show that that person rejected God because of a bad experience with the church, but if a person had no religious upbringing and is now an atheist, it just goes to show that they’ve been brainwashed into atheism.

Theists say that we must be atheists because of blind faith, since reason points to God’s existence, but if we say we are atheists because of reason, theists say it just goes to show that human reason is limited and that we can only approach God through faith.

Theists say that God will reveal his existence to anyone at all who asks, but if we do this and nothing happens, theists say that we weren’t sincere enough and that God won’t reveal himself to just anyone who asks.

Theists say that there is overwhelming evidence of God’s existence, but when a scientific test finds no evidence of God, theists say that of course this will happen, because God purposely withholds overwhelming evidence of his existence so as to allow room for faith.

Are there any others I’ve neglected to mention?