Regarding her, we agreed not to brainwash my son into either category of thought, and that neither of us would lie to him when he asked the inevitable questions. Of course, this ceded the battelfield to me. Instead of crying "there is no god!" at the drop of a hat [which is indeed a form of brainwashing] I merely made it a habit to question his pronouncements, and answer his questions rationally. [He may've been the only five-year-old in Ventura County who knew what the Rayleigh Effect was].
The pint being is that now, at ten, without being programmed, he has come to understand that rational answers should be pursued, and to say "I don't know" is that start of the learning, not the end of it. His mother lost out because like other Christians, she could not rationally explicate her faith, nor could she answer his questions.

It's far from obvious. It has been said that they "agreed to disagree", but also that she doesn't like the husband's atheistic position. I have no clue whether (or to what extent) the question is important to her.

Ya, I don't know how she feels either; I was basing my uninformed assumption upon this:

I also know that my wife is an intelligent lady, but she knows very little about Atheism or even her own religion. She has simply clung to Christianity because that is what her family believes and that is what she finds comfortable.

But nevertheless my comment was intended more generally, not only to this case.

To which I agree.

In the case of this person, though, it does not sound like religion is very important to this person's wife.

It's far from obvious. It has been said that they "agreed to disagree", but also that she doesn't like the husband's atheistic position. I have no clue whether (or to what extent) the question is important to her. But nevertheless my comment was intended more generally, not only to this case.

It is maybe better to say that those who don't examine the beliefs which are important for them are in some way immature.

Well, yes, thats true, I'd agree with that. There could be a quibble over whether if someone has an 'important' belief, but does not examine it, would we still consider it important? But whatever.

In the case of this person, though, it does not sound like religion is very important to this person's wife.

Incidentally, I revealed my atheism to my mother about six months ago (two years after my deconversion), after having listened to her carry on about god's so-called magnificence for some time. She tried for an hour to dissuade me, using the same lame, illogical junk I'd heard about god all my life. What surprised me was that she didn't go ballistic, because she loves her god like no other. She was pretty calm with her arguments. Since then, however, I've gotten the distinct impression that she thought I was joking, because she continues to talk about religion/god as if we'd never had that brief conversation. I just politely ignore her comments and move on to other topics. I don't wish to try to change her; that will never happen. I just want her to respect that I don't believe in gods, understand that nothing she says is ever going to change me back to that useless belief, and to stop talking about religion/god when I'm around.

Hrmph, the prime requisite for clerics should be CHA, with penalties for high INT and WIS.

I said that a lack of interest in learning about the details of the beliefs to which one subscribes, or the details of other beliefs, is a sign of immaturity.

I'm not sure if I'd agree with this, because it might mean we are all immature in some way. Surely we have no interest in learning about the details of all our beliefs. We certainly don't have interest in learning the details of most of our trivial beliefs, so I'll ignore them. More importantly, however, there are arguably non-trivial beliefs that different people think important to know the details. For example, I believe, for better or worse, that capitalism is the best economic system, even with all of its flaws. However, I am not aware of all the details of this belief; I'm not even sure I could give a coherent description of it or its competetors. Perhaps if I studied the many forms of socialism I would find one that I would think worked better than capitalism (if I could define what a 'better' economic system is.) I only have time, however, to thoroughly examine so many belief systems, trivial or not. Does this make me somehow immature? Perhaps, but I think you've defined your definiton of immaturity too broadly.

I could interpret it another way, and assume your talking about only that people who have no interest in examining religious beliefs are immature, but I dont agree with that either. People may grow up atheists or theists without much interest in examining those beliefs, and I don't think it correct to label them 'immature.'

You could then for instance do your breathing rapport and present information about people who are atheist and match your wife's values in someway. You could demonstrate that you match her values in a particular context that are specifically those that atheists aren't supposed to do.
Basically look for and present counter examples of the negative behaviours she has associated with atheism (you are reworking she believes as regards to atheism). Present them as non-personal items of interest rather than statements of your position. Generally better do this with as much rapport as you can arrange.
Over time you should be able to soften the ground and/or find out if her beliefs can ever be compatible with your own.
(sorry very for rambling on ... supposed to be working ;-) )

As for "intolerant", that's rich coming from the person responsible for much of this comment thread.

Comment by: Alex Weaver
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You seem to be awfully sensitive today Alex. You come off here as trying to be mightier than thou but the reality is you again failed to understand what is being written. It is all about perceptions of the atheist and who he is. The sad fact is that what you consider "harmless" most people do not. That is the reality. Atheists are the most despised group in America . There are reasons for it and its not because they are like your everyday neighbor but that is the perception.So get that chip off your shoulder and get a life.