The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints offered clear, insightful, and most of all new readings of the Heavenly Father. I asked for the Holy Spirit to reside within me, and was soon relieved of my fears and doubts, and began to attend church every Sunday.

Then I began to gain a deeper understanding of Mormon beliefs. Novel concepts such as different levels of heaven and one's spiritual 'choice' of parents were accepted alongside old favourites such as the non-authority status of women and the non-acceptance of queer folk.

That snapped me right out of it I can tell you! I look back on it now and my misery was entirely to do with my outlook on life - and the rather large quantities of dope I had been smoking for the previous 15 years. Once my perception had pierced the 'purple haze' I clearly saw I was being taken advantage of and reverted back to my old atheist self - a position I had taken since early childhood.

"I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE"?

Way to go with the positive self-talk there!

The same question might be asked of the over 1 billion Muslims on earth.

I think Ebonmuse has the analytical powers and clarity of exposition to be able to post an essay on this topic.

In this particular case, a little bit of ad hominem argument may not be out of place.

Tisk, tisk, sir. We're the Good Guys, and we never stoop to name-calling. Even if the Pope does look like the Emperor out of Star Wars.

Chef Bouy-rd Dyscyclical attacks Catholicism, lauds hope

Chef Bouy-rd, Grand Boohoo of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in a dyscyclical released on Saturday, said Catholicism was responsible for some of the “greatest forms of cruelty and violations of justice” in history. Speaking al dante, that is “hard,” when his words are directly from His Noodlesness; the Chef is infallible in most anything, especially things related to Rachael Ray.

The two page dyscyclical, “”Ittsa no Bull,” takes its name from a quote by Bullwinkle, which is pretty clear in translation, and is an appeal to a deluded world to find strength in humanistic/atheistic hope.

In the first dyscyclical of his Chefacy, the Grand Boohoo urges their hope for the future be in human abilities and not in technology, wealth, political ideologies, or delusions of supernatural beings.

Catholicism could be regarded by some as a “type of mind control,” particularly for the last 20 centuries, to protect those in power against the working poor, using fear and guilt rather than science or critical thought.

Quoting Catholic Pope Benedict, who said, “A world marked by so much injustice, innocent suffering and cynicism of power cannot be the work of a good God. A God with responsibility for such a world would not be a just God, much less a God, the Grand Boohoo said, “Exactly! We’ve been saying just that for centuries.” He added, this is one reason why the “argument from evil” had never been refuted, and why pastafarians (members of the Church of the Flying spaghetti Monster), reject the Christian god.

History has proven wrong religions like Catholicism, which says humans had to establish social justice because God and his chosen interpreters said to, said the Chef, singling out the Catholic notion that only they could be saved.

“It is no accident that Catholicism led to the greatest forms of cruelty, corruption, violations of justice, and discrimination, the Chef said. Such a concept was grounded in “intrinsic falsity.”

Catholicism, the Chef wrote, had left behind “a trail of appalling destruction” because it failed to realize that humans could not be “merely the product of fear, guilt, and uncritical thinking.”

Catholics React

The dyscyclical is the highest form of Grand boohoo writing and addresses all humans. This document is written in a highly articulate, professional style in which the Grand boohoo quotes scientists, philosophers, free thinkers, skeptics, humanists, and atheists to make his point.

Catholicism has been a hot topic recently thanks to news and best-selling books on priestly pedophilia, diocesan cover-up, Catholic church collaboration with Nazism, opposition to abortion and contraception, and more open disclosure of the Church’s history of violence.

The Grand Boohoo seems to be addressing the waning interest in Catholicism in the developed world with phrases such as “Let us put it very simply, humans don’t need a God created in the image of man, humans needs humanism and critical thinking, and otherwise they remain without hope.

The Vatican said by taking such stands the Grand Boohoo would push more people away from the Church.

The existence of a billion Catholics in the world should be enough to make the Grand Boohoo understand that man can live very well in a delusional state, even without reason, a statement said.

The Grand Boohoo urged all humans to put their hope for a better future in reason and goal-oriented action rather than in prayer.

“We have all witnessed the way in which the promise of a better life after death, when promulgated by wealthy old men in funny hats, can become and has indeed been a terrifying progress in evil. If technical progress is not matched by corresponding progress in human ethical formation, in the inner growth of all people, then it is not progress at all, but a threat for humans and for the world,” he said.

Humanist/Atheist hope also means protecting the planet, even if people feel powerless to make only small changes in their lifetimes, he added.

“We can free our life and the world from the poisons and contaminations that have injured the past two thousand years and could damage the future. We can reason about and study the sources of creation and keep them unsullied by mythology gone astray. In this way we can make right use of our human abilities, which we can accept as a gift with promise,” he said.

(Edited by Jim Coufal)

No, the hope proferred by Catholicism, and all other religions, is the hope that one may live one's life without having to think for onesself, that one may become a sheep in the herd.

"From the sublime to the ridiculous" should now be regarded as obselete; the transformation is complete.

"And then God made lights in the sky, valid only at participating locations, Amen."

Point is, antiquity has occasionally offered up immortals who are far more difficult to argue against than sad, little Yahweh. The Phallic Compensation Hat Man doesn't seem to realize his imaginary friend is plagued by existential inconsistencies that even Norse mythology managed to avoid.

Methinks this silly old man needs to find something more useful to do for society than sit on a gilded throne preaching about hope while people starve and die of horrible diseases in our species' homeland. Like, for instance, he could renounce this crock of poo and melt down the Vatican to feed the hungry, heal the sick, and educate the world's children.

But hey, I'm not expecting any miracles. =P