Recently the Wisconsin branch (or whatever you call it) decided not to bless gay marriages because there was a general fear that the church would split - which I guess is not unfounded considering the Anglicans. But the thing I don't understand is why they would care if all the bigots left.

Because it is more important to stick together than to do what is right. This is the argument that I make most often against "moderate" theists. More often than not, they tend to side with the more extreme elements simply because it's better to be on god's team than do what is right. In this case, they can't denounce bigotry, because it would alienate some people on the team. Disgusting.

:-)

there may eventually be a full-scale civil war between liberal and conservative factions of Anglicanism.

I certainly hope not. I'd prefer not to have another Thirty Years' War, especially now that the participants can arm themselves with assault rifles instead of muskets.

"I'm stupider that thou."
"No, I am!"

and so forth, which can be entertaining when the participants have creativity. And finally, I am given hope that perhaps these worldly changes to "eternal truth" will cause one or more believers to question their faith. And that is certainly a valid reason for pleasure.