Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Work-Life Balance.

Francisco: Oh if only Dagny would listen to me and join me!
Cobra Commander: Wait who are you and what are you doing here at Cobra HQ? I've dominators or something to build!
Francisco: I'm one of the heroes of this story and am so blindingly competent at literally everything that I do it can be taken as fiat that I know where everyone is at all times and know the proper course of action to complete any and all tasks with perfection and efficiency.
Cobra Commander: Well... that doesn't explain why you're here?
Francisco: To whine and mope and talk about things in a roundabout way!
Cobra Commander: That doesn't really match up well to how you just described yourself.
Francisco: Oh but it does for you see when it comes to whining and moping I am the best of the best!
Cobra Commander: Fine if it will get you out of my face plate quicker what's your problem?
Francisco: Dagny, the woman I maybe love and maybe just stalk like some weird obsessive creep, won't come with me when I've asked her to.
Cobra Commander: Well the stalker thing might have something to do with it.
Francisco: No she thinks that's... well not romantic, I don't think romance is really a word she'd use... a good sign of investment in relationship assets?
Cobra Commander: Okay... then why won't she come along?
Francisco: Because she doesn't know what awaits her if she joins me.
Cobra Commander: Then why don't you tell her?
Francisco: Oh but you see I would but I can't, for no one can be told!
Cobra Commander: Well how did you find out about this... whatever it is that's awaiting her and you?
Francisco: I was told.
Cobra Commander: *Withering Silence*
Francisco: Oh I can tell you about it too actually.
Cobra Commander: *Continued Silence*
Francisco: Actually it's not that big a deal we're going to tell everyone in the whole world over a big radio broadcast soon enough anyway and we've already told hundreds or thousands of people including people Dagny knows and has worked with, so it's not even that much of a secret. Plus I know you've met Ragnar already right? He knows the plan, he was told about it, he's part of the whole thing.
Cobra Commander: *Just shaking his head now*
Francisco: I'll keep it short because, wow, man the whole thing really takes a long time to get through but basically we're just hiding to let the world fall apart and then we're going to come back and rebuild society.
Cobra Commander: Yeah I kind of already figured that one out. Seriously that's your big secret?
Francisco: Good! Honestly it was tough to shorten it up to that. I'd think it might take like dozens of pages if I had to write out the whole thing.
Cobra Commander: What are you even talking about it's not a complicated plan! It's an incredibly dumb plan but it's not complicated.
Francisco: Oh I assure you it's a brilliantly ingenious plan, if only I could tell Dagny about it!
Cobra Commander: JUST DO THAT. LIKE YOU JUST TOLD ME.
Francisco: Sorry can't, and despite my feelings for her being entirely based on how intelligent and competent she is, she'll never figure out this brilliantly concocted plan by herself it seems, even with me hinting at it in the most painfully obtuse ways.
Cobra Commander: *Puts his head in his hands*
Francisco: And she'll never give up her job. I know that for a fact. Because she already gave it up once. Thus it's something she will never ever do.
Cobra Commander: Destro can you get in here?
Francisco: And I mean I've been hinting at this super hard, talking about how everyone will be dead but we'll still be alive for a second reformation and everything. Which I guess isn't even really a 'hint' anymore with how blatantly obvious it is...
Destro: Yes Cobra Commander what is... who is this fool?
Francisco: And my other super intelligent and competent friend Hank is equally in the dark despite me also hinting the hell out of things at him...
Cobra Commander: I can't get this guy to shut up, can you just... just throw him in a snake pit or something?
Francisco: Of course we both love Dagny, you know if you define love as treating her like an object and forcing uncomfortably aggressive sexual actions on her, which of course we all do since we're heroes... Actually having feelings for Dagny may be a definition for being a hero...
Destro: Robot Snake Pit or Regular Snake Pit?
Francisco: And it seems weird that even though I'm defined as being the absolute best at literally every single possible thing I could ever possibly do I'm actually incredibly bad at explaining things to people doesn't it? Like wouldn't you think if I had such absolutely terrible interpersonal skills I would never have actually managed to become a captain of industry in multiple fields of business? Ha, but obviously I did do all that... conveniently off-screen...
Cobra Commander: Look just whichever one is noisier and/or more painful.
Francisco: And actually I'm one of like, three separate people in the story who are all almost basically defined the same way, with Hank and ah... a certain you know who wink, wink. Actually now that I think about it that makes me kind of redundant...
Destro: Robot Snake Pit it is... Hail Cobra!
Francisco: You know if I thought my life was just a story I'd figure I was almost more of a prop than a character, here to convey vague information and set up story points for other more important characters. I mean that might explain why I'm so vaguely sketched out and have so few defining character traits and clear motivations...
Cobra Commander: Sure sure, just get on with it already!
Destro: *drags off Francisco while Francisco rambles on*