Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Sixteen Tons.

Tramp: Take that!
Cobra Commander: Sorry what?
Dagny: Well he just gave a big speech, didn't he?
Cobra Commander: And your point being?
Tramp: Well that's the most sure way to defeat villains isn't it?
Cobra Commander: Yeah no not really.
Tramp: B-but... I explained why communism doesn't work!
Cobra Commander: Right and... considering I'm a tyrant and not a communist... doesn't really mean anything to me?
Dagny: You have to agree with us now though, right, that communism is a bad thing.
Cobra Commander: Ugh look... I'm here to rob you guys, not get into debates about the merits of various socio-economic systems.
Tramp: Because you know by doing so you'll be defeated by us!
Cobra Commander: No! Because converting one capitalist company to a communist one in the midst of a broader capitalist system doesn't really prove much of anything.
Dagny: It proves everything, like how helping other people is bad and being selfish is good except when it's bad which is when you lie about being selfish!
Cobra Commander: Look the vast majority of businesses fail, and all fail eventually. Does every capitalist business that's ever crashed prove that capitalism is bad?
Tramp: It proves capitalism is great!
Dagny: Right, because obviously those businesses had bad people working for them or they would have survived.
Cobra Commander: Shockingly I've noticed that you guys never seem to address the customer or the market in your talks about the failure or success of businesses...
Dagny: The what now?
Cobra Commander: You know, the people buying your products?
Tramp: I'm sorry who?
Cobra Commander: Right... forgot the kind of people I was talking with for a second... Anyway you've admitted everyone at your company was willing to lie and backstab one another so I'm not sure how healthy a work environment it could have been. I mean yes most of the people who work under me are willing to lie and backstab one another but we are a ruthless terrorist organization so that kind of goes with the territory.
Tramp: Ah but see as long as we were willing to do such shady and underhanded things in service of capitalism we were golden!
Dagny: Yes as I said it's when selfishness is turned to the evil of helping one another that it becomes perverted into a twisted bad kind of selfishness that causes the collapse of everyone, as opposed to a healthy selfishness that causes the collapse of everyone.
Cobra Commander: Wait what? I... look you're basically saying everyone gets screwed over in either system aren't you?
Tramp: Oh of course.
Dagny: Oh absolutely, everyone is pretty much horrible it's just that in my preferred system I'm one of the people who cashes out in the end.
Cobra Commander: Wow... what a horribly cynical view of the world... and man I really hate you guys for actually making ME say that.
Dagny: Aha! We're weakening him!
Tramp: Indeed!
Cobra Commander: Okay but wasn't the whole point of this dang speech to get to the whole John Galt thing?
Tramp: Oh yeah I forgot to mention I just knew a guy named John Galt who talked about destroying the world and he disappeared so I wonder if it might have been him.
Cobra Commander: You... hold on a sec... you've heard people mention the guy destroying the world is named 'John Galt', and you're not sure if the guy you knew... who talked about destroying the world and was named 'John Galt'... is the same guy?
Dagny: A compelling theory I must admit.
Cobra Commander: Oh I think I'm starting to understand how this world fell apart so easily if these are the best and the brightest it has to offer...