Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: L'Etat, C'Est Moi.
Ragnar Danneskjold: Yes you were one of the first people I scouted to be paid to be part of our objectivist utopia Ms. Taggart.
Dagny Taggart: Oh my!
Cobra Commander: This continues to be one of the stupidest things I've seen on no less than three levels.
Ragnar Danneskjold: What? You doubt Ms. Taggart's commitment to our cause?
Cobra Commander: No but you buffoons seem to. If she was one of your first choices for this place why didn't you go address her before all these other idiots?
John Galt: More entertaining this way, I'd say.
Cobra Commander: And what makes you the person best equipped to decide who the most talented people are in numerous disparate fields?
Ragnar Danneskjold: Well I am very handsome.
John Galt: It's true, he is.
Cobra Commander: And lastly, you have a bank!?
John Galt: Of course we have a bank. The Gulch couldn't really operate without a bank now could it?
Cobra Commander: You realize how banks make profits, don't you?
John Galt: By being run as successful businesses of course.
Ragnar Danneskjold: Well I have been dumping tons of gold into it.
Cobra Commander: Your bank is completely cut off from the outside world, so it's not dealing in any market trading. You people charge ludicrous usage fees for services so it's certainly not making a profit on fee charges, which means the only way this bank is making money is by charging interest rates.
John Galt: Well, objectively speaking, that would make sense.
Cobra Commander: But who the hell is this bank giving out loans to!?
John Galt: Well... I mean... banks are very necessary...
Cobra Commander: Silence worm! Every single individual here is independently wealthy, or has this blonde buffoon just hurling gold bricks at their head!
Ragnar Danneskjold: Oh, that reminds me I have some more gold for you Mr. Commander...
Cobra Commander: Just toss it in the tractor. But back on point, who would need to take out a loan from this bank to do... anything? I mean we've already seen you all charge a pittance for goods and services as you seem to treat all that as little more than a hobby. Why do you even do everything in gold when I can buy anything I want here for a quarter!?
John Galt: Well we're very wealthy so the money doesn't mean anything to us!
Cobra Commander: SO WHY HAVE A BANK!? It's little more than a glorified warehouse for your stupidly unnecessary mountains of gold!
John Galt: Right... look I've had just about enough of this. I'm putting both you and Dagny under house arrest.
Dagny Taggart: Gasp! Why me?
John Galt: Well you've broken our rules which I never told you or anyone else about and just made up, and even though I have full leniency to do whatever I want because we don't really have rules here I'm going to force you to stay because reasons.
Cobra Commander: Well have fun with that, I'm heading off to rob that incredibly unnecessary bank of yours. Not to worry, your Funland pretend economy will function exactly the same without it.
John Galt: You can't leave! I put you under house arrest!
Cobra Commander: Yes and you have no police or military.
Ragnar Danneskjold: I'll stop you in my boat!
Cobra Commander: Does this bank happen to be in the water?
Ragnar Danneskjold: Shoot, I'm all out of ideas then.
John Galt: We can make a speech at him!
Dagny Taggart: Oh yes! Speeches do often seem to do the trick don't they!
Ragnar Danneskjold: Smashing idea!
*The trio looks around*
John Galt: Ah... he's... already gone. Well, he's off to rob the bank, and you all know what that means.
Ragnar Danneskjold: I'll need to go somehow acquire even more gold?
John Galt: No, it means Dagny can no longer afford to pay me rent, so she's homeless.
Dagny Taggart: Noooooo!