Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: The New Feudalism.
Cobra Commander: Well I'm back, what did I miss?
John Galt: You decided not to rob our bank?
Cobra Commander: Oh no it was just laughably easy to. What with the lack of a police department.
John Galt: You'll pay for your crimes!
Cobra Commander: What crimes? There are no laws here right?
John Galt: Well... I... I just made up a law saying you couldn't do that!
Cobra Commander: I thought that judge fellow was supposed to handle laws here if something ever did actually happen? Or maybe that Midas dolt since I think he actually owns the place.
Dagny Taggart: Oh no Mr. Galt here can definitely create laws, he just created one earlier that said I broke it so now I owe him money.
Cobra Commander: And like any rugged, determined individualist.. .
Dagny Taggart: Of course I agreed right on the spot he was correct!
Cobra Commander: Naturally. Really for being such amazingly "brilliant" individuals you're all shockingly predictable.
Dagny Taggart: Ah ha! But I didn't agree to pay him with the gold I was given in the bank!
Cobra Commander: Because I stole all of it?
Dagny Taggart: No because I want to make an honest living as a homemaker!
John Galt: And I'll pay her an honest wage to clean my house, of course.
Cobra Commander: Well two things, no you won't because I stole all of your money. Well... I guess steal might be a strong word since there's no laws here. I suppose you could say I just happened upon a large amount of money you were planning to use yourself.
Dagny Taggart: Does that mean I'm not getting paid?
Cobra Commander: Well that brings me to my second point. You will, by me. I'll pay you twice whatever Galt promised, which I'm sure is a pittance, for you to come work for me.
John Galt: Hey you can't just steal her away from me! I need her to inflate my ego!
Dagny Taggart: So... you want me to come and clean your house and do your laundry?
Cobra Commander: What? Are... no! That's ludicrous! I have faceless goons and robots for that sort of thing. But I'm still stuck in this valley right now and I could use at least a semi competent henchman, and you can fly a plane which is a valuable skill I can make use of. I mean even if I don't personally value your business talents at all you did manage a profitable company for years so I have to assume at a bare minimum you'd be a competent underling for a rate of...
Dagny Taggart: Well twice Galt's offer would be twenty dollars a month.... ah... plus he added in room and board.
Cobra Commander: Fine then we'll make it twenty a month... man you people work cheap... did you even negotiate?
Dagny Taggart: No I immediately accepted his terms even without fully understanding the economic structure of the valley, having little idea of whether my wage was even fair or not.
Cobra Commander: Yes you're a very shrewd businesswoman I can see... alright I'll throw in double room and board.
Dagny Taggart: Hmmm....
John Galt: Don't listen to him Dagny, he keeps insulting you! And he's an enemy of the Gulch!
Cobra Commander: I will point out at the moment I have literally all the money, and I'm pretty sure by your standards that makes me the most morally upright person here.
John Galt: But you can't just poach my employee!
Cobra Commander: Why not? I have the stronger bargaining position. I mean, we're competing, and I'm winning.
John Galt: You're messing up the natural order of things!
Dagny Taggart: Mr. Galt is right! Because I'm of the same mind as all of my highly individualistic brethren, I can tell immediately that this form of competition is incorrect and not a proper form of competition like should be had, which would be the non competition of me taking an incredibly low paying job far lower in social standing to what I'm used to literally putting me at the bottom rung of this society solely as a favor I received from a man and not because of any proof of my own abilities, considering my employer hasn't even asked whether I am a capable cook.
Cobra Commander: You know what? On second thought I don't think I'm really going to be all that put out by not having you on the payroll.