Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: The Problem of Original Property.
Francisco d'Anconia: Oh my, where did my metal faced friend go?
Cobra Commander: Destro is off... taking care of things.
Francisco d'Anconia: Ah! My other metal faced friend! Sincere apologies about earlier, I was so distraught over finding Dagny alive for a good five seconds there that I was barely able to process anything at all!
Cobra Commander: Well now that you've met your recently resurrected friend I'm sure the two of you would just love to catch up...
Francisco d'Anconia: Of course, and what better way than by giving an oppressively long monologue!
Dagny Taggart: Oh splendid!
Cobra Commander: You... you're not even going to really ask her how she's doing or something? I mean... just... just talk? Can you just talk so I can get out of here?
Francisco d'Anconia: Nonsense, now is the perfect time to expound upon my personal backstory.
Dagny Taggart: Oh I'd love to hear that! I bet it includes all sorts of information about how terrible other people are.
Francisco d'Anconia: It does!
Cobra Commander: Wait... you two were... like... dating right?
Dagny Taggart: And your point?
Cobra Commander: Shouldn't he at least have told you... I don't know... some of this? I thought you guys grew up together!
Francisco d'Anconia: Oh yes we dated for like... 10 years. Before I broke up with her for John Galt.
Dagny Taggart: Perfectly understandable.
Cobra Commander: No it isn't! This... this is supposed to be the moment where you explain WHY you couldn't tell Dagny about any of this. Like that you and John had made a pact to keep it secret or... because you knew that everything was super dangerous and you didn't want to get Dagny involved because you weren't sure it would work or... I don't know. .. something!
Francisco d'Anconia: Look I just admitted that while I was dating Dagny and running my company I apparently never once told her any of how I actually felt about anything at the time, why would you think I would tell her about this?
Cobra Commander: Then why tell her now!?
Francisco d'Anconia: Oh well... in truth, all of everything I did up to this point was for the purposes of being able to give this speech. It's going to be a very good one, took ages to cook up!
Dagny Taggart: Oh I'm looking quite forward to it myself! I might even interject a little like two word leading question into it to help you along. But of course otherwise I'll hold my tongue so as not to interrupt.
Francisco d'Anconia: Oh that would be splendid of you yes. I really can't wait to talk about how much I hate the common man though... awful ugly people. I mean do you realize how ugly common people are?
Dagny Taggart: Just awful.
Cobra Commander: Listen, I could introduce you to someone who works for me named Baroness... though if she isn't your 'speed' Tomax and Xamot well... okay I'm getting off topic here because what does that have to do with anything? What is even wrong with you people?
Francisco d'Anconia: Oh come on you know ugly people are evil. Or evil people are ugly. Same difference. But that's not really the point here. The point is to also brag about how amazing I am for having found a super rich copper mine here that I bought from Midas. Finally, something I own by right and not permission.
Cobra Commander: But you do own it by permission. You own it by Midas's permission.
Francisco d'Anconia: No... it's... it's different! The other stuff I owned because the government paperwork said I owned it and I had to pay taxes!
Cobra Commander: Right... for... maintaining things like roads and infrastructure. Which here I'm just guessing you do directly... you just... pay John Galt for electricity probably. You paid Midas for the land... I... I guess you pay whoever constructed the roads for the roads?
Francisco d'Anconcia: I don't believe that's ever really addressed.
Cobra Commander: Well fine but let's just assume you're paying a usage fee for the roads or paying someone to maintain them for you or whatever. That's just... that's taxes.
Francisco d'Anconcia: Heresy! All my money goes to private individuals... not some... 'government.'
Cobra Commander: Well it's not a democracy that's for sure. Dictatorship I guess? Since you all just do mostly what Galt tells you? But everyone has to pay every other individual for every single piece of infrastructure they run so it's also absurdly complicated and time consuming?
Francisco d'Anconia: Nonsense! It's certainly not a dictatorship! We do everything John Galt says because we naturally agree with him because we're all just as genius as he is even if he is the first among geniuses so why would we ever disagree about anything.
Cobra Commander: Oh right, how could I forget. You're a cult.