Originally posted on Atlas Shrugged: Do Not Adjust Your Set.
John Galt: Alright now... just about time to turn on my super television hacking device that I invented... ah I can just imagine the looks on everyone's faces when I really start tearing into them. I mean objectively speaking a genius such as myself certainly could have saved everyone, if he really cared to, but why should I be burdened to do anything other than what I want? Which means that his gloating will, quite clearly, be what I want to do. Just one last switch to flip and...
*Static*
John Galt: Wait a second... what's this? There's an even more powerful broadcast running on every single channel than my own? How is that...
Cobra Commander: Greetings to the people of the world. And to you especially Mr. Galt.
John Galt: YOU! How!?
Cobra Commander: Oh please, broadcasting a message to the entirety of the world? You're really stepping into my territory on this one. What you consider the pinnacle of your plan is usually just step one for me.
John Galt: But... but I had a big speech... a big speech I was going to give to everyone! EVERYONE!
Cobra Commander: Oh not to worry Johnny boy, I've taken gone ahead and connected my broadcast to the microphone you've set up. I just figured that since the public would really find your monologue to be quite... exhausting, well why not turn it into a dialogue?
John Galt: You fiend! Of all the indignities and horrors of my life, never have I faced one as awful as being forced to share equal time with someone else! Why as soon as I
*Click*
Cobra Commander: Yes yes... I've also taken the liberty of putting in an off switch for when you run your mouth on for too long. A good host should have a sense of timing after all, hm?
*Click*
John Galt:... show everyone my superior intellect and charming...
*Click*
Cobra Commander: Ah getting to shut you up, this will be fun. In any case, to the people of the world. You know full well your lands are falling into chaos. Rioting, looting, disappearing industrialists. And with such an incurious media and incompetent leadership I, Cobra Commander, have taken it on myself to present to you the man responsible for your woes. I do this out of my great love and affection for you all, and as proof of my good heart I shall introduce you now, on live television, to the greatest villain in all the ages of the world. The man who has plotted not only how to become rich and powerful beyond wildest imaginings but has unnecessarily decided to destroy the world only to cement his hold upon it. John Galt.
*Click*
John Galt: YOU STOLE MY INTRODUCTION! HOW DARE YOU!?
Cobra Commander: So you don't deny it?
John Galt: I vehemently deny being a villain! Also you left out the fact that I am the answer to 'Who is John Galt' which I think was a very incredibly clever question, considering the answer is John Galt which is really an encapsulation of objectivist...
*Click*
Cobra Commander: But you don't object to the rest of what I've said, do you?
*Click*
John Galt: Stop cutting me off! Also no. Still, really burns me up about the 'Who is John Galt' thing.
Cobra Commander: Yes well I'm sure the public will find a way to cope.