One of America’s two major political parties is openly nativist, xenophobic, and white supremacist. How do we talk to our kids about it?
I live in Queens, in New York’s 3rd Congressional District, which just held a special election. In the weeks leading up to the election, everywhere you turned, there were flagrantly racist ads about the supposed border crisis and millions of illegal immigrants flooding the country.
Despite my best efforts, my son, who’s turning eight this year, saw some of these ads. He was curious, and a little unnerved. He wanted to know what they meant. What should I have told him?
Stoking fear
NY-3 covers eastern Queens and western Nassau County. Suozzi, a popular Democrat, held this seat for three terms. Then in 2022, he threw it away to stage a vanity run for governor. The Republican candidate, whom Suozzi had beaten decisively in 2020, ran again for the congressional seat and won. You may have heard of him: his name was George Santos.
Santos proved to be a sociopathic liar who’d fabricated his entire life story. He achieved the rare feat of being too much of an embarrassment even for Republicans to tolerate, and they expelled him from the House. That led to the special election this week, which Suozzi ran in to reclaim his seat.
With the Republicans clinging to a paper-thin majority in the House, they couldn’t afford to lose this seat. What’s more, they were sure they had a winning issue in immigration.
Fox News and the tabloids have been stoking fear about immigrants for months. In my neighborhood, a migrant shelter at Creedmoor Hospital drew fierce protests. Even our bizarre joke of a mayor, Eric Adams, has complained about New York City having to house refugees and blaming the federal government for it.
Nativism on my doorstep
In the special election, the Republicans seized on this nativist sentiment. They spent more than $8 million on ads attacking Suozzi on immigration. They paid an exorbitant price to run a commercial during the Super Bowl.
I threw away campaign fliers that came in the mail, my spam filter dealt with e-mails, and we don’t watch cable TV. But the internet video ads were a lot harder to avoid. My son likes to watch YouTube, and they played, seemingly, at the start of every video he put on—even videos for kids.
What’s more, the people funding them must have paid extra to make them unskippable. You couldn’t watch five seconds and skip the rest of the ad, like you usually can with YouTube. You had to watch the whole thing each time. The image at the top of this column is from one of them.
READ: On the morality of open borders
These ads were racist to the core. They only speak of immigrants in derogatory, dehumanizing terms: as “illegals”, as violent, as criminals, as a crisis. The Republican attacks don’t even treat migrants who arrive by claiming asylum—which is completely legal—as any different from gang members or organized crime. They lump them all together into one faceless menace.
There’s no acknowledgment that America is a nation built by immigrants, no recognition that immigrants have anything valuable to contribute, and no sympathy for the reasons people want to come here. They attacked Suozzi, and by extension any politician who supports immigration, as an enemy of America. It’s a message that the KKK could endorse without hesitation.
How to talk to your kids
I muted these disgusting ads every time they came on. Still, my son saw enough of them to have questions about what they meant.
I decided it was a teachable moment. He’s going to encounter racist ideas sooner or later—in America in 2024, it’s impossible to shelter him from that. Better to teach him now, so he’ll understand why people believe these things, and he’ll be forewarned when he encounters them in a less controlled environment.
I told him about the special election and Tom Suozzi, and I said, “The people who made these commercials don’t like immigrants and don’t want them in the country. They’re angry at him because they think he likes immigrants too much and he’s too nice to them.”
“Too nice to them?” my son repeated. This was a new concept to him, but I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes.
“Yep. It’s sad, but it’s true. They want us to be scared of immigrants, or really, of anyone who’s different.”
I asked him if that reminded him of anything, and that launched a bigger conversation. It was a help that he’s seen shows like Hilda, which paint kid-friendly allegories about how it’s easy to be afraid of the unfamiliar, and how unethical people exploit that fear to gain power.
We talked about how everyone who lives in America, except Native Americans, is an immigrant or the descendant of immigrants. Save for the descendants of slaves, who were brought here against their will, we’re all the children of people who came to this country to seek their fortune and to build new lives. We had that chance; why shouldn’t others?
It’s not an idea that’s strange to my son. One of his grandparents is an immigrant. In his diverse public school, he knows kids his own age who are newcomers to this country. Some are taking ESL lessons or trying to adjust in other ways.
I talked with him about the idea that people should be able to live where they want. If we ever had to move to another country, we’d hope that the people living there would welcome us. Just the same way, we should be ready to welcome new neighbors.
READ: Welcome, stranger: A humanist sermon
Lastly, we talked about the Statue of Liberty and how the poem on its base is a promise of welcome to immigrants. That’s always been the best of what this country represents. If America is no longer going to uphold that ideal, shouldn’t we take the whole statue down?
There’s more I could have said—and I will, as he gets older. But I let the discussion end there. It was enough for me that he knew what he was looking at. The next time he glimpsed one of those ads, he understood what it was, and it no longer bothered him. He was able to dismiss it as just another commercial from those people who don’t like immigrants.
So how about that election?
In the days leading up to the special election, some polls showed it was a nailbiter, or even hinted that the Republican candidate was ahead. As it turned out, it wasn’t that close.
The networks called the election for Tom Suozzi early on Tuesday night. He won, 54% to 46%—not a landslide, but a comfortable victory.
The Republican party thought immigration was their winning issue, and they poured huge amounts of money into fearmongering over it. But even in this district, where there was reason to expect it would resonate, it failed to sway voters.
This is a hopeful sign for progressives leading up to this November. It’s not a guarantee of victory over fascism, but at the very least, it’s evidence that victory is achievable.